peter

this piece was a joint effort and i cannot accept full credit for it. thanks for all the hands that contributed to this one.

my name means rock.

And for a good long while I actually thought I earned it!

I knew why I got the name.  I grew up a fisherman, which will make a man out of anybody.  It was nothing for me to take the lead, to speak my mind, to be bold.  Sure, I sometimes stuck my foot in my mouth. I’ll even admit that there were times I didn’t have a clue what was going on!  But my motto stayed the same; speak first, act first, be first.

There was one BIG time I got it right, though.  And that time, Jesus named me Rock. Clearly, this was an affirmation of my leadership capabilities, wasn’t it?

The ironic thing is that shortly after I had “earned” my name, I crumbled like a boat on the rocks.

Full of pride and in front of everybody I declared that I would follow Jesus anywhere He went: to the ends of the earth…I even said to death.  I would be His right hand man, come what may.  Right away He told me to check myself…but I didn’t listen.  I was arrogant and full of holy zeal.

You know how it works whenever we make promises too big for our britches.

It seemed like just the next day we were completely surrounded by Roman soldiers.  Without thinking I took out my sword and tried to lead the fight; I was THE ROCK, I would hold the fort till Jesus had a chance to get away, dying for him if I had to.  I didn’t notice that Jesus showed absolutely no interest in defending himself.  Instead of following His lead, I was trying to lead Him!

I was so disgusted to see how easily he gave in, like some weak fish caught in one of my nets?  I couldn’t follow Him to this kind of death!  I wanted glory, not jail-time!!  So I ran.  Suddenly I had no interest in being associated with Jesus whatsoever.

But I didn’t just run and hide, like some of the others.  The change that came over me was more than that…it was like I became a different person.  I actually went out of my way to convince people I had nothing to do with Him.  Point blank people asked me and I said, “No!  I’m not one of His!”

You know, in the end there is no real difference between what I did and what…Judas did.

Have you ever crushed somebody like I crushed Jesus?

Have you ever lied to save your skin….?

Have you ever been so disgusted with yourself that you couldn’t look someone in the eye?

Yes!  I had to say Yes!  Me.  The Rock!   It was over!  It should have been over; my part in the story should have ended there.

But it didn’t!  A couple of days later, all of a sudden there was Jesus.  JESUS!!  He spread his hands to show us the marks of death, then he flashed His smile to show us the mark of LIFE!  He was alive!  No, more than that!  He had beat back death!  We all rushed Him… but it seemed more like He was reaching out to us.  He looked me in the eye and took hold of my hand, and said to me, “Rock”.  He used THAT name.  After all I had done, He still used that name.  And with one swift move he pulled me out of my pit of shame.

That was the moment that I really surrendered to Him.  Right there, in my heart I declared Him Lord and Leader, Captain and King.

Rock.  Hmm.  You know I like hearing my name called, because it reminds me that He is my rock and I can stand firm only when I stand on Him.

i am peter

and i am second