nicodemus

i was a pretty top dog. i knew the law backward and forward. i knew it inside and out. and when there were decisions to be made about the law – i was one of the guys they called on. and it was this position that led me to a discovery that changed me.

i was doing what i always do – study the law. read the law. teach the law. observe and promote and exercise the law. and then i find out about this guy named Jesus who was causing all kinds of ‘frustration’, shall we say, amongst my peers. he was said to be teaching the law. but he wasn’t teaching “our law”.

he was teaching – it was so radical – he was teaching that things were more important than the rules. his law was about love. in fact, it really wasn’t law. it was more like… how do i describe it? it was just.. love. “love God”, “love your neighbor”, “love the unlovable”.

and.. it kinda made sense. i mean, i knew what God had said. backward and forward, remember? and it resonated with me. it was starting to sound more like what i had always known to be God’s word. and i would know. i read it constantly. i knew it thoroughly.

i started to wonder why – if this man Jesus was on target with the law.. with God’s word – then why were we getting so upset about it? oh sure, he put some of my peers in their place and that’s always a bit painful to bear. especially when it happens in public. but let’s face it – they challenged him without knowing that he knew his stuff.

i thought, “he must be a teacher. he has to be, to know the law enough to throw those guys for a loop.” people don’t just walk away from a conversation with a pharisee. they crawl. in humility. but not Jesus.

he knew his stuff. but he didn’t act like we did. he didn’t try to act superior. well it was obvious he had some kind of authority, but he didn’t ACT like it. like in a hold-it-over-your-head kind of way. he just wore it. there was something about that…

so i went to talk with him. i admit i was a little trepidatious in meeting with him. so i waited until dark. and he totally called me out on it! he said something about the light coming in to the world and the world loving the darkness instead. i know he meant that for me. so i would know he knew i was hiding the fact that i had come to him. but he also meant that he’s the light. and instead of wanting the light, we just kept choosing darkness.

he also said if i wanted to see the kingdom of God that i had to be born “from above”. that one threw me. but after i left i really started thinking about that. he said it wasn’t about having your mother give birth to you all over again. that this second birth wasn’t even physical. it was “from above”. it was from.. well, it was from him.

he’s from above.

it took me a while but i got it.

this Jesus was offering me something different than the law. better than law. it was radical and frowned upon. it made people in my circle squirm. but it was real. and i could have it. he didn’t put any conditions on it. he laid it out there and if i wanted it, i could take it.

i would like to say that i immediately changed my course, but i didn’t. i was still hiding under the cover of darkness, in a sense. but when other rulers tried to make Jesus out to be a deceiver, i had to say something. they were taking this anger too far. i asked them if our law prevents us from finding out what an accused man is about before we convict him.

their excuse? that i didn’t know the law well enough. they told me, “go look it up. he’s not who he says is and can’t be. it doesn’t match.”

but it did. were they blinded by their own anger? were they that far gone that they couldn’t see it? i could see their accusations were false. i could see they loved the darkness. and i wanted out of it. i wanted this “being born from above” thing. i wanted what Jesus offered.

and so i took it. i exchanged law for love.

when he died.. when they killed him, i knew i had to honor him. he was my number one priority now. and i didn’t care who saw me this time. i took spices and helped prepare his body for burial. but it wasn’t just any gift – it was a gift fit for a king. because he was a king! he is The King. i brought as many people as i needed to carry the spices and if i was noticed i didn’t care – this was for my king.

i knew i’d pay a steep price for what i was doing, but that life to me, that position – being the top dog, wasn’t worth the price of overlooking what Jesus taught. i didn’t care about furthering my career anymore. i cared about making the name of Jesus famous. so that others can hear and know how to get out of the darkness. the law doesn’t change a person. love does. knowing Jesus does. being born from above. i get that now. it just means you don’t use the law and your rules to get to God, you trust God directly, you set aside the darkness, and you choose light. you are born into the light.

when that happens, the other stuff fades away. and Jesus becomes first in your life.

my name is nicodemus
and i am second